How Can My Ex become my Next...

You know that I love my music especially when I can relate it to some real life issues , but this song by Seyvn Streeter who by the way has an awesome EP, has  had me thinking all week mainly because I can honestly say that I have and currently in this situation.

If you know me personally then you know that for as long as I have been old enough to date that I have had only  one true love in my life, however about two in a half years ago after knowing each other for most of our childhood we decided to separate which at first was very hard for me because I had grown so attached but in the end I can say that it was the best decision that we both made because it gave us both a chance to grow as adults and to see what we want out of life and more importantly to reevaluate who it is that we want to be with.

So, after two in a half years of loving and hating each other and giving each other space and actually looking at what we want about eight months ago we decided to give it another try and first it was weird because we actually went through the process of dating someone who you already know so much about but it was indeed a learning experience but also it made our new relationship stronger and I can attribute that to several difference reasons.  I have never been the person to say “never again” but I will tell you my top two relationships never to go back to

1.       Abusive: Never put yourself in a situation that causes you harm whether it be physical or emotional. Most people who are abusers need help that you cannot give them and although I believe that you can be semi supportive don’t let yourself become their crutch.

2.       Kid Driven: It bothers the hell out of me when I hear people say that I am still here for the kids, your children can see your frustration and unhappiness and it is going to do make your children unhappy. So, if you love your children then be happy.

But to those who may still have some unresolved emotions from a past relationships and want to maybe find out if there is a possibility of getting back together, these are few things that we did before decided to jump back into the relationship.

1.       Communication: Learn how to really speak to each and listen because a lot of relationships end not due falling out love but due to not talking. No one in the relationship is a mind reader, so you have to tell your partner what you want.

2.       No Sex:  As hard as it was, sex confuses things and when you are trying to rekindle or see if the spark is even there then take the sex out and see if it still sparks

3.       Reintroduce yourself: it was the sweetest and weirdest experience but reintroducing yourself, your goals, what you want on life to make sure that you guys are compatible

I am not in no way saying to find your ex and go running back, I am saying to search your heart and your soul and see exactly what it is that you want and who you want to share that joy with.

At the end of the day, who do you want to tell your story too?