Life Lessons With Coach Destiny

Happy Sunday Team : I know it has been a LONG while I appreciate you guys allowing me the time to deal with my personal life issues while I rebuild myself from the inside out.  So, since I believe in being totally translucent with you guys. I will give you a snapshot of how I have been  since we last spoke and where I am now.  In a nutshell I did not really deal with the lost of my grandmother in 2017 and that depression slowly but surely crept into every aspect of my life. I  was settling and loosing myself to this world. I somehow lost my connection with my higher power, if I am being honest I was mad at God because he had removed another great woman from life. I appreciated all the blessing he bestowed upon me but I was still kind of hurt by the lost and because of that me and God became like distant friends, I acknowledge who he was but I did not seek him out . So, this leads me to where I am today?  After a series of both life changing and devastat...

Coach Destiny, I have a group of friends we have been friends for a very long time but i have noticed that recently we don't have the same goals and ambitions.  often time i am just bored being around them. How  do you know when you have outgrown a friendship?   Chelsea I want you first to ask yourself is there any other reason why you are so disengaged with your friends. Do you have other friends?  Why are you still friends with them?  I think that you have to self explore a little,  we all have old friends that we may not speak often and we have friends that we speak with daily. After some exploration, if you do not have anything in common with them then maybe you should move forward in life but still be friendly cause good friends are hard to come by Coach Destiny I never really see you post anything about sex but I have a sex problem . I kind of overhead my boyfriend talking to his boys and he basically said "my sex was boring". I don't...

I feel that in order to truly help someone , you have to become transparent and that's what I have done with this blog, with my life coaching practice with my life ... My faith , my relationship with GOD has at times been tumultuous but my faith, my purpose and the love he has for me has never been lost... GREATNESS is my birthright and it is yours as well . I share with you a piece from my journal in which I write my prayers to the man above.. Dear GOD, I come to you tonight as humbly as I know how and not just on my behalf but on behalf on anyone who is currently going though the shaking, the beating, ot the pressing in thier life. I need you to let them know that you are preparing them for GREATER. Lord, I pray for the lost souls who are crying out for attention to all the wrong people, I need you to go to them and let them know that you are still GOD and that you are still waiting for them. Let them know where worldly love my dry up and dissipate that you have a love for...

You know that I love my music especially when I can relate it to some real life issues , but this song by Seyvn Streeter who by the way has an awesome EP, has  had me thinking all week mainly because I can honestly say that I have and currently in this situation. If you know me personally then you know that for as long as I have been old enough to date that I have had only  one true love in my life, however about two in a half years ago after knowing each other for most of our childhood we decided to separate which at first was very hard for me because I had grown so attached but in the end I can say that it was the best decision that we both made because it gave us both a chance to grow as adults and to see what we want out of life and more importantly to reevaluate who it is that we want to be with. So, after two in a half years of loving and hating each other and giving each other space and actually looking at what we want about eight months ago we decided to g...

If you ever really read one of my earlier posts or my book, " This is Me..", then you know that for most of my life like most people I have dealt with insecurities. So, when Beyonce's released her new album and this song was track one, I literally broke down the first time I heard it because people sometimes think that insecurity just stems from not liking what you see in the mirror but it comes from a much deeper place than that. Within in the chorus Beyonce sings, " Trying fix something but you can't fix what you can't see, it's the soul that needs a surgery".  Listening to that part alone made we want to right this this blog because I think a lot of us need to schedule an "soul surgery", mines personally took my two and a half years but I did it. I have made peace with what the source of my insecurities where which for me where part societal and part familial. I never been the girl that really cared much for societal norms in fact I ...

Q1: My family feels like I am with the wrong guy, but I don't see what they see and I love him but I feel like I am trapped living two lives one with my family and one with my man, any suggestions? There comes a time in our lives when we have to move out the family that was given to us and create our own. Let me break it down for you, your family's position on your boyfriend is based on what you tell them and what they may observe but it is not the whole of who is. You are torn because you feel like you have to give up one for the other and that;s not true, you can have both. Your family loves you and that love will never change but it is time for you to grow up and take possession of your own life. Tell your family that you want to be with this guy and if he is bad for you then you have to pick up them pieces and if they really love you, they will be right there for you whether it's heartache or happily ever after. Q2: How do you balance family, career, friends, I mea...

Doing some research for an upcoming group session, I came upon the article at Oprah.com on finding your emotional balance. I know the importance of finding your emotional peace.  I hope this helps you.. Step 1: Emotional Checkup Sit down with a calendar and ask yourself how you've been feeling over the past couple of weeks—depressed, anxious, joyful, angry? Do you seem uncharacteristically blue and lethargic? If yes, can you see a good reason for it? The questions may seem obvious, but if you don't ask them, Rosenthal says, "it's easy to shove the problem out of your mind." Next check your expectations. The big mistake people make is confusing emotional balance with happiness, says Alice Domar, PhD, director of the Mind/Body Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF and the author of Self-Nurture . "The huge number of people on Prozac in this country includes many, I think, who were experiencing life's ups and downs normally but had an expectation...

"This Is Me.." is a collection of poetry the chronicles my life from childhood to adulthood. This book has truly been a life time in the making, I discovered the healing powers of writing when I was young girl being called on to provide words of peace and encouragement at family funerals and functions. I embraced the healing powers of words and writing became like therapy to me. Making the decision to publish this book was a really hard one because although I devote my life to helping others and I am now a pretty open person, this book digs deep into my issue's with insecurity,  my family relationship, my personal relationships, my faith and relationship with God. I not only pulled stories from my own life but from the lives of others that impacted me. It took a lot of prayer to get me to the point where I can truly bare myself entirely to anyone who wants to read and I am not doing for the money or fame, I am doing it because I spent so much of my life, not living...

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Now for me this has been an on going discussion between me and my friends about how some females don't play their role within a relationship. The two roles that often come into question are Wifey Vs. Side Piece. So,I did a little digging and found my way unto urban dictionary.com, to look up  these two words.  According to urban dictionary;  wifey by definition is A woman that you treat right, respect and feel good having her as your girl.  The definition of  Side line hoe or side piece is Being a mistress, or just a girlfriend on the side. So in order to clarify the situation for some young ladies who may be a "Side Piece" trying to play a " Wifey" role. If this man wants nothing to do with you, then you're a side piece.  If the only time that he comes around is if he want to "cut"  then you are a side piece, If you allow this man to treat you with no respect, and he treats your emotions like a welcome mat that he wipes his feet on then I...

Q: Recently me and one of my closest friends just stopped talking, she kind of betrayed me and I decided to not deal with her anymore but at the same time I still have some things on my chest, what should i do? A: Do you still have her contact information, I would reach out to her and have a real sit down and just air it out. But I do caution you this, it has to be two sided so you also have to give her a chance to clear her chest as well. I did it once with an old friend and at the end of the convo we decided that it wasn't worth trying to rebuild the trust but we could at least be civil. I mean we all have at least two friends that are fun to hang out with but we don't share secrets with.  Q: I just read your last post about 9 steps to a better life but my question to you is how important is it to have a support team and can you make it without one? A: I think that having a support team around you could truly make your journey smoother but like...

Hey Guys I apologize for the delay but I spent the night in the emergency room due a summertime cold I just can not shake. But here we go ... Q:  So, I am in a relationship but here lately I find myself thinking a lot about my ex, I mean we were together for a long time but here lately I feel like drawn to her. But with my new girl its easy, she is okay with her life and where it is by ex was always dreaming, wanted to do so much. I don't know what to do ? A: I think the question you have to ask yourself is . " Why did you leave?". I think most people if they were honest would say that want an easy life, so if I am right I think you left your ex because things wont easy. But now you have had some time by yourself to grow and now you realize that the best things don't come easy. I think you need to take some time and figure out what you want out of life and what kind of woman will help you get there.  Q: I feel like my life is falling apart all around, how com...

Q: I feel like I always attract the wrong guys, I mean what is it in me that attracts dogs and how can I change that? A: First, I don't believe that there is anything wrong with you but maybe you need to first define the type of man that you are looking for. Most females are attracted to a certain type of guy and in your case it seems to be dogs. So, my assignment for you and any other female having a hard time with the wrong guys, is to make a list of what these guys have in common to first find that common thread that connects them and then I want you to break it by telling yourself that you deserve better. Most people end up in unhappy relationships simply because they feel that is what they deserve. Never Settle !! Q: I feel like I have made so many bad decisions in my life, how do change myself and my path for the better, would it even matter? A: As long as you have breath in your body is never to late to make a change in your life especially if that change is for...

Q: How do I get my girl and my baby momma to be cool with each other because they are always arguing and I feel like I am stuck in between a rock and a hard place? A: Well, I am going to give you kudos for trying but you can not force two people to get along with each other but what you can do is demand respect and common decency. I would recommend a sit down conversation and let them know that they have to do better and set aside their personal beef for the sake of your child and the relationship. It is sad that two women can come together and at least be civil but you have to set boundaries s and then you have to stick to them and be willing to action if they are not willing to abide those boundaries whether it be leaving your girl or going the courts involved. I know it seem harsh but when there is a child involved , you have to do what is best for them and their lives. Q: I am in a relationship and I really think that I am ...

 I first found my passion for educating and empowering people as an HIV/AIDS peer educator for the American Red Cross , which I guess for most parents it would have been weird for have your fifteen year old daughter traveling around the city, talking about sexually transmitted diseases, handing out condoms and talking about birth control. But my dad was cool at least on the outside, he knew that for me education was only power and besides my mom had passed away so me teaching myself really delayed the sex talk. However, I had a great mentor by the name of David Bolter and til this day I love and owe him more than I could put into words, but when I first started as a peer educator , he taught me this one basic rule when it comes to bodily fluids; " If it is wet and it is not yours, DON’T TOUCH IT".  This statement has been a staple in my life, it’s help me to stay clear of other's people drama and causing myself unnecessary stress and I wanted to share it with...

So, I don't know about you but I am a music lover and I can honestly set my life by music but I heard this song with Keyshia Cole and Lil Wayne and it was just so honest to my old relationships and so many other relationships for both men and women, When is it time to walk away from a relationship when is there, Enough of no love. We all know or should know that infidelity is never about you but about the other person and their issues but for some reason a lot of people stay in a relationship after they have been cheated on, some stay when they know there is no love and some stay because of time. I am sure there are a slew of other reason but my question is "What makes you stay?". So, I asked a couple of people and even did some soul searching for myself and this is my take on it. : The devil you know is better than the devil you don't", my grandmother use to tell me that when I was younger and I never really understood the meaning behind it until now. For mo...

I know, I know just by the title alone you probably expecting me to go in on dude but I wont , I mean I could but I wont it's not that kind of post and I've already given him to much of my time. So, this post is just putting the relationship to bed. When I was younger I promised myself one thing and that was no matter how bad a relationship ended that I would never be bitter or broken. I can honestly say although at times it was hard, after this break up I am not broken or bitter, I am actually wiser and stronger. After being childhood sweethearts and going through so much together my ex decided that it would be best to go our separate ways but he still wants to be friends. Ladies, I am going to tell you from personal experience unless you never truly had feelings for him or you are a way better woman then I would ever be it's impossible to friends with someone right after the breakup. The reason being is because you deprive yourself of the proper healing process and you ...

I think there is no more appropriate moment then the present to talk about this issue, AS we embark on relationships we all know that it;s the initial "look" of person that attracts you. Whether you like em', tall small, thick, or old. It's the physical attraction that first lures us to another person.  If you don;t agree with that then this post is not for you because obviously you are better then the majority of the world. So, ask you what would you prefer a TRICK OR a TREAT ?  I know you are probably wondering, how am I able to tell the difference if all I have is first impressions. I am glad that you asked , you see a Trick is someone who plays only on your senses, they look good, smell nice and always make sure that they are seen. A TREAT on the other hand also smells nice, looks good but this person does not have to be seen you are pulled to them.  To break it down a little bit more, a TRICK will find you but a TREAT you will have...

I have been dealing with so much  lately as I get closer and closer to my dreams, I realize that something was blocking my progress. It took me a while to realize then I realized it was the pain of the past that I had been holding to so long. A lot of hold on the past pain and it just ends up hindering your future. So, I challenged myself to regain control of my life by confronting the pain and then releasing it. As, a writer I found it easier to write a "Dear John" letter to my pain, Dear Past pain: You have been holding on to me for too long, I have given you too much power in my life. You have tried to destroy me and now I am here to tell you that I release you. I am no longer afraid, angry, guilty or bitter. I  forgive you and the people that you brought into my life both family and friend who  triggered the pain in order to control me. Telling me that I wasn’t pretty enough, that I wasn’t small enough, that I wasn’t smart enough, creative enough, ...

As, 2011 slowly disappears and I progressively work my way into 2012, all I can say is "THANK YOU GOD" because I know personally for myself if it was not for him , then I would have not made it this far. 2011 for me was my "Purge and Grow" season because during this year I had to learn to let go some things and some people and although painful it ultimately help me grow into the person that GOD created. After my painful seven months of purging and yes I said painful, I can only speak for myself but I am hard headed so GOD had to take off the kid gloves and I felt it all. But he never took his hands off me, he surrounded me with Faithful people who encouraged me and pushed me through even at times when I  wanted to give up on myself.  We all have to go through a purging season and unfortunately you may have go through more than one but when you go through understand that you are not alone. Understand that God never puts more om us than we can bare and ...