Life Lessons With Coach Destiny

I was strolling through my facbook time line and I saw this article not only was it interesting and true and I waned to share it with you all.. Can you believe that it’s already December? This year has flown by in the blink of an eye and we’re on the verge of yet another year — a year full of possibility. What you will accomplish next year greatly depends on the people you surround yourself with. Or, in other words, it greatly depends on which people you decide not to surround yourself with. When bringing in the new year, be sure not to bring all your garbage with you. Leave these toxic individuals in 2014; you’ll feel much lighter, allowing you to get a great running start on the year to come. 1. The people who make your life more stressful. Stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing — in fact, it’s what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress

The one thing that I have noticed when I began to come into my own, to follow my purpose and to allow God the freedom to work in your life also gives you so much clarity on other things. This week I have been dealing with " Hate" and the face that people can just show so much disdain for another person's position in life  without looking at the path that was taken to get  there. So, this post " Haters" 1. Haters do not really hate you,they hate themselves : You see when a person gives up on themselves and their dreams, they begin to despise everyone who didn't.  So, truthfully they don't hate you, they hate themselves for giving up. 2. LOVE conquers HATE : The best thing you can do to address a HATER is to just LOVE them,  pray that they make peace with their lives and find the strength to pursue their own dreams. 3. Don't let a HATER deter you from your DESTINY :   Never let the negativity of one , stop you from moving forward in you li

It is crazy because when I sit down to write tonight this was suppose to be going into my new book , but I decided to share it with all you because ," Why Not", I share everything with you all anyway. For the last two days I have been a state of semi solitude, I have been feeling under the weather, overwhelmed and exhausted but this week I think my body gave in because it knew that my mind truly needed the break.  So, I took two days to rejuvenate my mind and communicate with my higher being, God speaks to me but only when I am fully surrendered in prayer and silence. So, for two days we have been having an ongoing debate , yeah I said I was debating with God, I mean he created me he knows first hand how stubborn I am but only until about a couple of hours I go after talking to my pops, my moment of clarity came. I have never been afraid of the challenge, of the trying my hand at the impossible, my resume is flooded with accomplishments but my worst fear is not failu

So, nornally I would do Sister to Sister during Coach's Corner but last night I kind of got causht up in the topic and I ran out of time, but I did read and respond to all of my questions but I will be posting the top two which was about the topic of "Friend".. Q.: Do you feel that length of a friendship is equal to the quality of  friendship? A. : I think that is a common misconception when it comes for friendships, I believe the "No New Friends" was taken out of context. I think that quality always outweighs longevity because sometimes we just outgrow people and as we get older our lives changes henceforth what we look for in friendship does as well. I am not saying cut off your old friends but just evaluate and make sure you have all your friends in the right "section: of your life. Q.: I have a male friend and we have been friends every since I could remember but I have recently found out that he has has intimate feelings for me for the las

Dependent upon the relationship, breaking up could be the easiest or the most painful thing you will have to do but regardless of the situation I have created some " Break Up Commandments" : Thou shall not drunk dial/text I know that the alcohol can have us in our emotions sometimes and have us feeling like we need to get some stuff of our chest. JUST DON'T DO IT.. resist the urge to call or text your ex especially when you are intoxicated nothing good will come from it. Thou shall not backslide There was a reason why you left and contrary to the hype there is so thing as " No strings attached" sex especially between exes because there was once love there hence "strings". I know it may seem easy or safe to release that sexual tension with someone that you already know intimately. Go to the gym, take a cold shower, watch porn anything but do not fall into that sand trap. Thou shall not vent on facebook The fact that you are w

Coach Destiny, I have a group of friends we have been friends for a very long time but i have noticed that recently we don't have the same goals and ambitions.  often time i am just bored being around them. How  do you know when you have outgrown a friendship?   Chelsea I want you first to ask yourself is there any other reason why you are so disengaged with your friends. Do you have other friends?  Why are you still friends with them?  I think that you have to self explore a little,  we all have old friends that we may not speak often and we have friends that we speak with daily. After some exploration, if you do not have anything in common with them then maybe you should move forward in life but still be friendly cause good friends are hard to come by Coach Destiny I never really see you post anything about sex but I have a sex problem . I kind of overhead my boyfriend talking to his boys and he basically said "my sex was boring". I don't know what

For the month of October, I have decided to honor women who are inspiration and empowering. I have been getting mixed reviews on my decision and a lot of people want to know what is in it for me.  That skepticism is exactly why I decided to this every since I was a young girl, I use to keep a list of " stereotypes" of black women and every morning I woke, I had one main goal , DO NOT BECOME A STATISTIC. Every since I could remember I have been different I see life in a rainbow tinted glasses and I live each day to make sure every person that comes into contact with me leaves in a better place both mentally and emotionally. I challenge people to go against the grain, to challenge the status quo and make their dreams a reality. This is why, I decided to start the " I AM" woman empowerment because woman are known to for being " catty" and "back biting" but I do not believe this is true of all women and I want to honor them. I want to show the w

I feel that in order to truly help someone , you have to become transparent and that's what I have done with this blog, with my life coaching practice with my life ... My faith , my relationship with GOD has at times been tumultuous but my faith, my purpose and the love he has for me has never been lost... GREATNESS is my birthright and it is yours as well . I share with you a piece from my journal in which I write my prayers to the man above.. Dear GOD, I come to you tonight as humbly as I know how and not just on my behalf but on behalf on anyone who is currently going though the shaking, the beating, ot the pressing in thier life. I need you to let them know that you are preparing them for GREATER. Lord, I pray for the lost souls who are crying out for attention to all the wrong people, I need you to go to them and let them know that you are still GOD and that you are still waiting for them. Let them know where worldly love my dry up and dissipate that you have a love for

I saw this article on Oprah.com and I wanted to share it with you all... Though no one likes it, each of us will find ourselves broken at some point in our journey. When we find ourselves there, what do we do? I've been broken many times—through illness, through the loss of a job, through the derailment of a dream and most recently, through the death of my father. For all of this, I can offer a mysterious truth that life has given me: that we are stronger, gentler, more resilient and more beautiful than we imagine, and that the resource we call life is never far away. I know this because every time my heart has been shattered, I have felt certain that it could never be put back together. And every time, without exception, not only has my heart mended but it has become larger, stronger and more loving for the breaking. The mysterious and unfailing journey of how this happens is the ordinary art of staying awake. It involves the deep and continuous act of being pr

You know that I love my music especially when I can relate it to some real life issues , but this song by Seyvn Streeter who by the way has an awesome EP, has  had me thinking all week mainly because I can honestly say that I have and currently in this situation. If you know me personally then you know that for as long as I have been old enough to date that I have had only  one true love in my life, however about two in a half years ago after knowing each other for most of our childhood we decided to separate which at first was very hard for me because I had grown so attached but in the end I can say that it was the best decision that we both made because it gave us both a chance to grow as adults and to see what we want out of life and more importantly to reevaluate who it is that we want to be with. So, after two in a half years of loving and hating each other and giving each other space and actually looking at what we want about eight months ago we decided to give it an

Yall know how I love to bring you guys things that I feel will help you be more productive in life, I saw this article online and decided to share it with all of you ... Hope you implement some of these steps into your daily living  #1. Start spending time with the right people.  – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally. #2. Start facing your problems head on.  – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run. #3. Start being honest with yourself ab

As I often do.. I happen to be strolling the net researching somethings for my first "relationships" seminar/ workshops  and I ran pass this  article and I wanted to share with all my babies out there who might be sabotaging their own relationships.. Here you 5 relationship Killers : Bad Habit #1: Worrying About What Other People Think Everyone wants and needs different things in their relationships. Don't get caught up in what other people want or what your friends are doing.  Concentrate on creating a relationship with your partner that works for the both of you.  Bad Habit #2: Letting Your Ego Get in the Way One of the biggest relationship mistakes is getting caught up in trying to be right in an argument. When you're focusing on proving your partner wrong and getting them to acknowledge that you're right, you lose sight of what you're really trying to do—resolve a problem. Drop your ego, and instead focus on creating a space where each of

It was brought to my attention that although I talk about everything else under the sun, that I really never talk about sex and intimacy. As you guys know that I often try to help by giving you personal experiences from my own life. No, this does not mean that I am virgin  or that I do not enjoy sex. So here we go... I personally believe that intimacy or the lack of it can strengthen or weaken a relationship, let's  be honest, everyone wants to feel wanted especially by the person that you love and loves you back. I think we often mistake intimacy with sex, and although that is one facet of being intimates, there levels to this shit ... lol Be Connected Intimacy in a nutshell is being close and connected to someone not just on a physical level but an emotional one as well. For example, I like stolen glances and I do not mean "staring" because that can creepy but I love it when I look up and he's looking at me or when I am getting dressed for work and I look back

1. I am in a relationship but we never really go out, all he does is come to my place. We never really go out anywhere, it's been a year and I haven;'t met any of his family or his friends, I don't know what to feel? I am going to assume that you have read some of my post and you know that I am very strait forward and this coming from a place of love. Sweetheart, you are not in a relationship , you are available to person who truly seems to not have any real interest in you besides what you are offering. You know what to feel but you do not want to be alone but  if you honestly ask yourself, which one is wormst be alone or lonely because you are already lonely. I do not know this guy and do not condone male bashing, but my advice would be to have a conversation and real conversation about how you feel and where you stand in his life and from there make a decision that is best for you and your happiness.  2. Coach D, how do you get yourself out of a rut? The advice t

 Oh, how I love my music but this post is not about love or relationships but it's about Self. Figuring out who you are and deciding what person you want to be?  My goal everyday is to become the best version of Destiny that I can possibly be. What is your daily Goal? Who are you and How did you get here? Some of us look at where we are in life, and we may complain, gripe about how we "thought" out lives would be different? Some of us are excited that we even made it this far? But the question I am asking you is , How did you get here?  The person that you are today, how did you become that person and what are you going to do make yourself better or do you feel who you are is the best version? I know that I got you all scratching your head, like what ??? So, let me break it down for you, in order for you to become the person you want to be, the best version of yourself, from where you are TODAY ... 1. Who are you today ? : Take a good look in the mirror and def

You should have already known that I was coming after this one but do not get it twisted, this is not going to male  basing post but I would not be me if I didn't put my personal spin on this. I love this song, and although I agree with K. Michele you can't raise any grown person whether it be male or female but I do believe that with communication, patience and love that you can't help them grow. You know I have to use my own life as an example, me and my boo, have know each other going on  15 years which is the equivalent to more than half our lives, we have seen each other through some tough times, we grew up and three years ago we grew apart but not we are back together and the relationship is better because we both understand not only where we are in life but where want to be. What I didn't understand three years ago is that  I was trying to raise a man instead of letting him come into his own manhood. You see sometimes as women and some men, we are already on

It's been a long time since I actually set down and wanted to write, not that I didn't have a lot to write about but because I have been so busy with trying to get this event we call "life" eight that I haven't had to time to really unpack all the thoughts in my mind. But I am BACK .. . So, if you know me or if you have read my blogs then you can see that I really try to be a good person and not that being a good person is a hard thing to do but in a society where you are more often judged then elevated at times treating others how you want to be treated can seem like an impossible task.  I see  a lot of social status about, treating people how they treat you and being cold to people and I actually found myself heading down that path. When I love regardless is it's a friendship,intimate, or family, I LOVE without conditions giving myself and all that I am to that person regardless of how they may reciprocate it but I would be lieing if I said that , lov

If you ever really read one of my earlier posts or my book, " This is Me..", then you know that for most of my life like most people I have dealt with insecurities. So, when Beyonce's released her new album and this song was track one, I literally broke down the first time I heard it because people sometimes think that insecurity just stems from not liking what you see in the mirror but it comes from a much deeper place than that. Within in the chorus Beyonce sings, " Trying fix something but you can't fix what you can't see, it's the soul that needs a surgery".  Listening to that part alone made we want to right this this blog because I think a lot of us need to schedule an "soul surgery", mines personally took my two and a half years but I did it. I have made peace with what the source of my insecurities where which for me where part societal and part familial. I never been the girl that really cared much for societal norms in fact I