Life Lessons With Coach Destiny

Ladies, why do we have to come at each others throat when it comes to a man and how come we never hold ourselves or the male accountable for the drama that we put ourselves in. So, let me break it down to you, woman to woman before you can love anyone else you have to first love yourself fully, flaws and all. I know a lot of you, are sucking your teeth and rolling your neck saying " I love ME" but truthfully look at some of the situations that you have put yourself in and then ask yourself " Do I really love ME?  If you need some help allow me to elaborate, I have a couple of situations that  I have seen over and over in 2012 that may help you answer the question.  If you agree or have been in every situation I mention  doesn't mean you are a bad person , you may love yourself this is strictly my opinion and you are more than welcomed to disagree. 1. If you fall for unavailable men : If all of your relationships start off by that man being in a relationship with a

Over this last year, I have been on a path of  self discovery which  has led me to confront some truths and fears about myself, my past and how it affects my future  I like most of us are not without fault. I have been very unapologetic about my life choices whether if they were progressive or regressive they have all brought exactly where I am right now in life.  And even though i try to live without regrets there is some pain and confusion in my past that I have held on too especially the things I have done to others. I am not a hateful or even bad person but i was always told that path to hell was paved with good intentions. So, now I am learning to forgive myself and let it go.. I love to read and I was reading this article but Dr. Phil on how forgiving yourself leads to your best life and he even offers steps, so I decided to share them with you ... Step One: Reopen your heart and mind again. When you are faced with terrible pain, your heart and mind slam shut. Opening y

So, I really get frustrated when I hear friends and family talk bad about my last boyfriend in fact he was probably one of my only real boyfriends, my first love to be exact. Don’t get it twisted we went through some things but I don’t like when people blame others for my decisions and actions. I can’t lie and say being in that relationship may have persuaded my perception of things but ultimately it was my decision. This leads me to this general question, “Whose To Blame?????” I always here people and see status updates about how somebody is doing something to someone else, or the world is doing something to you but what I never here is what you are doing to provoke these attacks or a plan to prevent them. We as a people because I use to do it to , are always looking for someone or something thing to blame but we never truly take accountability for our own actions and the state that those actions has left our lives. If you were to look at any situation in your life and wer

I can honestly admit now anyway that one of my biggest faults and the thing that keeps me from truly attaining all of my goals is that I tend to compare myself and my accomplishments to others. Even to this day it's a struggle but I understand that what's for me is for me and I have learn to accept me for who I am and allow myself to GREAT. I was reading an article online that address the same issues and I wanted to share with you, 1. You are one of a kind. There is literally no one walking this earth quite like you. 2. Life isn’t a competition so pursue what makes you happy in a pace that you are comfortable with. 3. Remind yourself of how wonderful you are. 4. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to others. 5. Realize that you won’t always be the best at everything and that’s okay. Try focusing on beating your own best score instead of someone else’s, it will help measure your growth in a healthy way. 6. Be grateful for what you do have and

So, I don't know about you but I am a music lover and I can honestly set my life by music but I heard this song with Keyshia Cole and Lil Wayne and it was just so honest to my old relationships and so many other relationships for both men and women, When is it time to walk away from a relationship when is there, Enough of no love. We all know or should know that infidelity is never about you but about the other person and their issues but for some reason a lot of people stay in a relationship after they have been cheated on, some stay when they know there is no love and some stay because of time. I am sure there are a slew of other reason but my question is "What makes you stay?". So, I asked a couple of people and even did some soul searching for myself and this is my take on it. : The devil you know is better than the devil you don't", my grandmother use to tell me that when I was younger and I never really understood the meaning behind it until now. For mo

1.      Make Peace With Your Past a.       The hardest thing for me to do is to “let go” and actually release myself from my past bondage. I had   a tendency of collecting and holding on to the pain, the mistakes, and drama instead of learning from it and leaving it.   I do believe that we should all learn from our past but do not allow it to spoil your future or interrupt your present. 2 .      What others think of YOU is   NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS a.       Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so what a person thinks about you is just that, Remember, it’s not what you are called but what you are answered too 3.       Time heals ALMOST everything a.       But you have to give time some time, pain, hurt, loss, love, change never happens over night give yourself time. 4.      No one is the reason of your happiness except YOURSELF a.       Don’t make people or things the root of your happiness. Happiness is yours alone to control or destroy 5 .      Don’t compare y

I just realized that I am the most honest when I have my hands on my keyboard, whether it be writing my blog, poetry, short stories. Whenever I write my truth comes out, my pain, my passion and even my confusion.  i was told by doctor once that most great counselors where once extremely messed up patients. it makes sense in a way. Today I feel reached my breaking point where everything in me was lost even my relationship with GOD. I found myself today alone in my room hysterically crying and yelling at GOD. You see my entire life all I ever wanted was a mother's love, I had a mother and I loved her until she died but I never felt that love in return until about a month before she died. That one thing that I wanted for so long and was just about to get and it was taken from me and honestly I never got over it and I am not sure if I ever will. I grew up twelve years of my life feeling like my own mother didn't love me and as soon as I started to feel the love it was snatche

I was reading this article on OPRAH.COM and decided that I wanted to share it with all of you 1. Get Beyond Denial As long as you're thinking, "That shouldn't have happened or I shouldn't have done that," you're locked in a struggle against reality. Many people pour years of energy into useless "shouldn't haves." The angry ones endlessly repeat that their ex-spouses shouldn't have left them, their parents shouldn't have overfed them, or their bosses shouldn't have made them wear uncomfortable chipmunk costumes in 90-degree heat. Even drearier are the sad ones, who forever drone some version of "If only." If only they'd married Sebastian, or gotten that promotion, or heeded the label's advice not to operate heavy machinery, they would be happy campers instead of les misérables . I call this unproductive regret. People use it to avoid scary or difficult action; instead of telling the story of the past in

The one thing that I distaste more than anything and that is DRAMA because to much of it becomes unhealthy. So, I have comprised a list of seven simple rules to make your life less drama free. 1. Never Hate : I don't even use the word because "HATE" is just like poison although it may take some time eventually consuming it even in the smallest amounts can be proven fatal. If you harbor hate towards someone my suggestion to you would be to forgive them, forgive yourself and move on because if you don't  you will end up paying for it in the end. 2. Live Simply: Somewhere a person worth got misconstrued with how much stuff a person has or has going on. Sometimes a busy or full ife doesn't mean it's the best life for you. I at times have a lot on my calendar but I always make time for the simple things like playing with my niece or writing my blogs. Most things that bring you the most joy are free of charge. 3. Expect Little : Life doesn't not owe u

When I sit down and look at my life especially the last five years I don't know if i want to laugh or cry, so I decided to write about. You see I have been living in my own hell for the last five years of my life, afraid, ashamed, lonely and with this nagging fear of not ever being worthy.  But I call it  my own hell because I never spoke on it, I just dealt with it, it's kind of my life's philosophy I don't like confrontation which is why  some people who know me might think  it is hard to believe but I don't  but I do BLOW UP !!  The only reason why I even do that is because sometimes I hold so much in that I explode. But in February the opposite happened I IMPLODED and I almost lost the person who should of meant the most to me, MYSELF. About a week before Valentine's Day. I Destiny Cammack checked myself into the Behavioral Unit ( Crazy house) because I had simply reached a point in my life where I couldn't fine my way back. I suffered from a menta

I know, I know just by the title alone you probably expecting me to go in on dude but I wont , I mean I could but I wont it's not that kind of post and I've already given him to much of my time. So, this post is just putting the relationship to bed. When I was younger I promised myself one thing and that was no matter how bad a relationship ended that I would never be bitter or broken. I can honestly say although at times it was hard, after this break up I am not broken or bitter, I am actually wiser and stronger. After being childhood sweethearts and going through so much together my ex decided that it would be best to go our separate ways but he still wants to be friends. Ladies, I am going to tell you from personal experience unless you never truly had feelings for him or you are a way better woman then I would ever be it's impossible to friends with someone right after the breakup. The reason being is because you deprive yourself of the proper healing process and you

Last week I was having an conversation with my younger cousin and just like most girls do we got on the subject of various types of females.  Me personally I don't judge people for what they do but for who they are but in the case of a Down for Whateva (DFWC) chic basically what you do is directly linked to who you are. So let me define a DFWC for those of you who do not know, a DFWC is the type of girl and yes I said girl because a DFWC is not quire a woman. But a DFWC  would do anything  in order to get attention from the opposite sex. You know the girl that I am talking about the ones that I am talking about they have  half naked pictures posted all on their facebook page, statuses about the multiple sexual encounter, and not afraid to make public that if given a change and his money is right that she will try to sleep with your man, that is a down for whateva chic. A DFWC is also over ally confident about thier looks and I am not saying that they are all ugly but they ain&#

I really have been trying to hold my tongue but I wouldn't be me if I didn't bring things to the forefront of people's mind. You see I understand that I live my life by a different code than most and I truly thank GOD for blessing me with parents like Iris Gaines and Vinson Cammack because they instilled me the value of hard work and that my worth can't be measured in currency  because I am PRICELESS.  If you know me then you know that I have been working within the non profit  community for about ten years now and I have been everything from a HIV/AIDS peer educatator to Director of my own non profit "DESTINED TO CREATE PEACE SERVICES". I had accomplished more and lost more by the age of eightteen than most people will in a life time. But I am still standing, so it baffles me when I hear  and read status updates of young people with no aspirations, no ambiton and even worse older people who do not care about the youth.  Truly, what is the world

You see there is a big problem that spreading amongst young ladies where they think that by having a man's child then that's how you keep that man. I have to just shake my head on that one because it has to be the dumbest thing anyone has ever thought of. Do you honestly think that if that man does not love you that a kid will make him stay. You see a real man will take care of his responsibilities and he will love and be obligated to his child but that does not mean he is obligated to you boo. How many times must I address this;  ladies you have to think with what's between your ears and not between your leg. Having a baby can not be like your last resort because you are trying to save your relationship because the only person that get hurts in the end is the child. Another thing that irritates me do not use your child as a bargaining chip, if the man is taking care of his responsibilities and have moved on with another girl don't try to deprive hi

I think this would be the hardest thing I have written in awhile but I hope each reaches,teaches or just comfort someone who maybe going through or went through a similar ordeal. I am period in my life that I'm going to call transitioning because I'm moving from one state of being to another and although we all will hopfully transiton for me its not comfortable at all. So, for the last year my life has been in complete shambles. I started a job that I didn't like and became a slave to a pay check, My heart was smashed purposely by a man that I thought loved me, I stopped doing what I loved like working with the youth. I was miserable and I truly believed that I deserved the pain. So about four months ago it all became to much I was depressed that I would sit for days in my house, didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't work amd didn't care. But to the outside world they thought I was okay but inside I was dying. I was breaking down mentally,emotionally,spirituall

Sometimes I close my eyes and wonder exactly what my life would be like if all of my dreams came true. I mean I am not complaining my life is really not that bad but I wonder how much different it would be if I could truly cast my fears to the side and truly jumped into my dreams head first. I want to be an author,motivational speaker,life counselor,CEO of non profit organization. I don't know why I can't overcome these fears I mean I almost died before my 18th birthday that should have catapulted me into living my dreams but it did the opposite. Ever since my mom died I have taken so much upon myself and I haven't been able to let go but I'm ready to,  I have to because I can't continue  to live in the shadows of my own dreams. Don't get me twisted I have accomplished some GREAT things but I know that I could be so much MORE. I was created to be great and I have to cast my fears to the side and take that leap of faith. I deserve happiness I want live out god

Having moment of weakness or uncertainty does not make you weak or less of an believer. It just makes you human. Sometimes I feel like my soul, my essence were drafted in this battle between the young lady I am and the grown woman I want to be. Don't get me twisted I appreciate all that I have, all that I have accomplished and even the mistakes that I have made. I thought for awhile I thought I was truly happy but then I realize in order to be happy I had to have something happenings and that's when the battle ensued. About two months ago I got sick and I thought it was just another asthma episode but it was so much more, I was drowned in a sea of medical diagnosis and medications that I could  pronounce only because I studied medical books as a child. I believe that is when the battle began when I was face to face with my own mortality (no worries I have nothing fatal) but it made me realize that my life was missing something. So, I set out on the mission for a 360 change

No one can  prepare you for heart break and no matter how hard you try to fight it or find a work around when your heart breaks it hurts. When your heart breaks it also stirs up insecurities that you have about yourself, past painful relationships and even loneliness. Some of us want to believe that its not us its their lost and some of us believe that we are the reason for the pain. But truthfully, you never know what it was that caused you and that person to separate. But you can allow that pain to stop you from living. You may wonder what makes me an authority on broken hearts and truthfully I am not. But I have had my heart broken recently and I felt inferior, I felt ashamed,lonely, confused and hurt. I mean a part of me even wanted to even try and get him back and even went as far as having sex with him. But sex ain't love but then I saw him the real him. Most time when we are in love we see the person we want but not who that person really is. So, the true test of love is w

Although hard and confusing at times, moving on is a integral part of growing up and last ten years my life has been going in the same destructive cycle. I wish I could say it was my idea to end it but it was more of a crash and burn. But as painful as it maybe I had to come to grips with my present,let go of my past and move on to my future. Moving on for me consisted of 1. Embrace the pain and confront the confusion but stop running 2. Let it go even though it maybe hard the only way to move on is to let it go, forgive and say farewell 3. Look for the lesson. Everything that we do in life has the potential to be an learning experience all you have to do is open yourself up to the possibility. 4. MOVE !! I moved on from bad relationships by slowly eliminating all communications and I moved my residence. Just move, get up and physically move yourself and then you can move the state of your mind. Hope this helps

Sometime the hardest thing for a person to do is to look in the mirror. I'm not talking the mirror that you have on your bathroom wall but the mirror that reflects the truth of who you are. I heard this song from lil wayne it encouraged me to take a good look in the mirror to see who you really are and what you want from your life. At times we get so caught up in trying to be what others think us to be or what they want us to be. So,  this is my challenge to you take a DEEP look in the mirror, tell what do you see? Watch "Lil Wayne - Mirror ft. Bruno Mars" on YouTube

I was watching a sermon by T.D Jakes about a month ago on how in order for us to live out the calling that GOD has placed on our lives that we have to let go of some the baggage that's holding us back. From that sermon I picked up on 4 essential bags that I think that majority of people are holding on to but need to LET GO ... 1. SIN : Whether they be past sins or present sins, we all have sinned and fallen short but we can't allow ourselves to become slaves to those past mistakes. Ask forgiveness from your higher power, ask forgiveness of the people that you may have hurt and lastly forgive yourself. 2. GUILT: This one bag alone can strangle  the life out of you if you let it. We all at one point or another pick up the guilt bag,  the things that you wish you hadn't done or said but you did anyway. I carried my guilt with me and through life kept putting more into it until one day it almost took me out. That's when I decided to get rid of this bag, we are not pe