I know, I know just by the title alone you probably expecting me to go in on dude but I wont , I mean I could but I wont it's not that kind of post and I've already given him to much of my time. So, this post is just putting the relationship to bed. When I was younger I promised myself one thing and that was no matter how bad a relationship ended that I would never be bitter or broken. I can honestly say although at times it was hard, after this break up I am not broken or bitter, I am actually wiser and stronger.
After being childhood sweethearts and going through so much together my ex decided that it would be best to go our separate ways but he still wants to be friends. Ladies, I am going to tell you from personal experience unless you never truly had feelings for him or you are a way better woman then I would ever be it's impossible to friends with someone right after the breakup. The reason being is because you deprive yourself of the proper healing process and you become fake. Myself for example I still try to be there like a friend but I did it because it was the "Destiny" thing to do my heart wasn't in it and all I ended up doing was angering myself. So, after finally processing my own hurt and coming out in a better place I have few rules of "dis" engagement especially if you were in a long relationship and you thought that he/she was your forever.
1. Communicate your feelings: Even though its the end of the relationship still communicate how you feel. I mean if you feel like the break up is bogus then say it, if it came out of nowhere then let them know of your surprise. If you feel it was another excuse not to grow up, then just let it be known.
2. Be HURT : You just loss someone that you loved it's okay to be in pain, embrace that pain don't pretend like it don't matter or try to pretend like they're coming back or like they never left. Cry, yell,curse, eat, drink (responsibly of course) but do what you have to do during your period of pain.
3. Take some "ME" time: A huge part of the healing process is taking some time for yourself because you've dedicated so much of your time to being "us" that you have refocus on being a "ME" again. No it's not being selfish, get a new wardrobe . a new hair cut, just take sometime for yourself
4. BREATHE: I know it's easier said then done but just breathe through the pain, sometimes I find myself thinking about my ex and I even still dream about him and what our life could have been and I just sit up strait and inhale the present and exhale the past.
5. LET GO: This is hands down the hardest but the most important step because in letting go, you have to forgive that person and yourself. You have to have a willingness to pick up the pieces of your heart and the strength the let go of that person and wish them the best in life. Learn from the lessons that the relationship taught you and be grateful for the good times.
6. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS: Pain is inevitable we will get hurt but we learn from that past pain we don't carry it along with us and infect every relationship we have going forth. Some people say love like you've never been hurt and I just love who you are with for who they are not who they are not.
I hope this helps even though I know some may be upset because they thought they were going to get some juicy gossip about a no good ex who cheated, couldn't commit or grow up lol and I won't confirm or deny my ex of was any or all of those things I will say that if I never met him or went through what we did then I wouldn't be where I am in life which is a beautiful place, centered and full of ambition. I never say never because you never know what GOD has in store for you but always remember the lessons of the past.
After being childhood sweethearts and going through so much together my ex decided that it would be best to go our separate ways but he still wants to be friends. Ladies, I am going to tell you from personal experience unless you never truly had feelings for him or you are a way better woman then I would ever be it's impossible to friends with someone right after the breakup. The reason being is because you deprive yourself of the proper healing process and you become fake. Myself for example I still try to be there like a friend but I did it because it was the "Destiny" thing to do my heart wasn't in it and all I ended up doing was angering myself. So, after finally processing my own hurt and coming out in a better place I have few rules of "dis" engagement especially if you were in a long relationship and you thought that he/she was your forever.
1. Communicate your feelings: Even though its the end of the relationship still communicate how you feel. I mean if you feel like the break up is bogus then say it, if it came out of nowhere then let them know of your surprise. If you feel it was another excuse not to grow up, then just let it be known.
2. Be HURT : You just loss someone that you loved it's okay to be in pain, embrace that pain don't pretend like it don't matter or try to pretend like they're coming back or like they never left. Cry, yell,curse, eat, drink (responsibly of course) but do what you have to do during your period of pain.
3. Take some "ME" time: A huge part of the healing process is taking some time for yourself because you've dedicated so much of your time to being "us" that you have refocus on being a "ME" again. No it's not being selfish, get a new wardrobe . a new hair cut, just take sometime for yourself
4. BREATHE: I know it's easier said then done but just breathe through the pain, sometimes I find myself thinking about my ex and I even still dream about him and what our life could have been and I just sit up strait and inhale the present and exhale the past.
5. LET GO: This is hands down the hardest but the most important step because in letting go, you have to forgive that person and yourself. You have to have a willingness to pick up the pieces of your heart and the strength the let go of that person and wish them the best in life. Learn from the lessons that the relationship taught you and be grateful for the good times.
6. LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS: Pain is inevitable we will get hurt but we learn from that past pain we don't carry it along with us and infect every relationship we have going forth. Some people say love like you've never been hurt and I just love who you are with for who they are not who they are not.
I hope this helps even though I know some may be upset because they thought they were going to get some juicy gossip about a no good ex who cheated, couldn't commit or grow up lol and I won't confirm or deny my ex of was any or all of those things I will say that if I never met him or went through what we did then I wouldn't be where I am in life which is a beautiful place, centered and full of ambition. I never say never because you never know what GOD has in store for you but always remember the lessons of the past.
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