When I sit down and look at my life especially the last five years I don't know if i want to laugh or cry, so I decided to write about. You see I have been living in my own hell for the last five years of my life, afraid, ashamed, lonely and with this nagging fear of not ever being worthy. But I call it my own hell because I never spoke on it, I just dealt with it, it's kind of my life's philosophy I don't like confrontation which is why some people who know me might think it is hard to believe but I don't but I do BLOW UP !! The only reason why I even do that is because sometimes I hold so much in that I explode.
But in February the opposite happened I IMPLODED and I almost lost the person who should of meant the most to me, MYSELF. About a week before Valentine's Day. I Destiny Cammack checked myself into the Behavioral Unit ( Crazy house) because I had simply reached a point in my life where I couldn't fine my way back. I suffered from a mental breakdown, I stopped eating, sleeping, even going to work I was falling into the deep dark hole and I was to weak, mentally and emotionally drained to find my way back. But I did have enough strength to realize that I needed help, for someone to assist me back to the light. So, there I was diagnosed with major depression and mental exhaustion sitting in a room with people who ranged from mental elements from bipolar to alcohol dependency and all I could think to myself was " HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" I was a little afraid but not of the people but of the idea that for the next couple of days, I wouldn't have a phone, TV, computer or family to hide behind but I would have to deal with ME and I have been trying to avoid dealing with me for about the last five years. But it was something that I needed to do, I had to look in the mirror and really search and find myself the me that GOD created not the one that the world was making, somewhere in between trying to please everyone and being afraid to FAIL at my own dreams I lost sight of who I was, my beauty, my talent, my spirit. I put everyone before myself because it was an constant excuse for me never to really take that leap of FAITH and trust in God's plan for me. So, although a short week stay I not only started working on myself but working on building a healthier relationship with GOD.
I was released on Valentine's Day and that's when I started purging, I was more open with my emotions which if you know me , you know I am not an emotional person but after I started to get to know me again it was a lot easier for me to tell others how it wont going down anymore. They had placed me on an anti depressant but I stop taking that pill and started reading the BIBLE which is the original anti depressant. As, my relationship grew and continues to grow stronger with the man above , life has been a lot more refreshing. I mean I've had to let some people go out of my life, release some pain, forgive some people and love others but I don't worry and I stress a whole lot less. I am not perfect I make mistakes daily and I have to restart but I am human and I except that.
So, I give you all that to leave you with this, we all will hit our bottom and it will hurt, you'll be confused and left wondering. But know that you can always get back up . Whatever your higher power might be, believe that they always have your best interest in heart and create a real relationship with them.
Get to know , accept and love yourself FLAWS AND ALL because that's the only way you will be able to make it.
DETOX yourself from all TOXIC relationships and go back and rebuild the good ones that you let getaway
FORGIVE yourself for all the mistakes that you made, allow yourself time to heal from your past pain FORGIVE others who may have hurt you, disappointed you or whatever because until you do they'll always have power over you which means that you will not be living your best life,
LOVE, LAUGH and LIVE OUT YOUR PURPOSE !!
Not saying it would be easy but if you need someone to walk you through the process contact me at www.truerevelations.webs.com and climb back out together
But in February the opposite happened I IMPLODED and I almost lost the person who should of meant the most to me, MYSELF. About a week before Valentine's Day. I Destiny Cammack checked myself into the Behavioral Unit ( Crazy house) because I had simply reached a point in my life where I couldn't fine my way back. I suffered from a mental breakdown, I stopped eating, sleeping, even going to work I was falling into the deep dark hole and I was to weak, mentally and emotionally drained to find my way back. But I did have enough strength to realize that I needed help, for someone to assist me back to the light. So, there I was diagnosed with major depression and mental exhaustion sitting in a room with people who ranged from mental elements from bipolar to alcohol dependency and all I could think to myself was " HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" I was a little afraid but not of the people but of the idea that for the next couple of days, I wouldn't have a phone, TV, computer or family to hide behind but I would have to deal with ME and I have been trying to avoid dealing with me for about the last five years. But it was something that I needed to do, I had to look in the mirror and really search and find myself the me that GOD created not the one that the world was making, somewhere in between trying to please everyone and being afraid to FAIL at my own dreams I lost sight of who I was, my beauty, my talent, my spirit. I put everyone before myself because it was an constant excuse for me never to really take that leap of FAITH and trust in God's plan for me. So, although a short week stay I not only started working on myself but working on building a healthier relationship with GOD.
I was released on Valentine's Day and that's when I started purging, I was more open with my emotions which if you know me , you know I am not an emotional person but after I started to get to know me again it was a lot easier for me to tell others how it wont going down anymore. They had placed me on an anti depressant but I stop taking that pill and started reading the BIBLE which is the original anti depressant. As, my relationship grew and continues to grow stronger with the man above , life has been a lot more refreshing. I mean I've had to let some people go out of my life, release some pain, forgive some people and love others but I don't worry and I stress a whole lot less. I am not perfect I make mistakes daily and I have to restart but I am human and I except that.
So, I give you all that to leave you with this, we all will hit our bottom and it will hurt, you'll be confused and left wondering. But know that you can always get back up . Whatever your higher power might be, believe that they always have your best interest in heart and create a real relationship with them.
Get to know , accept and love yourself FLAWS AND ALL because that's the only way you will be able to make it.
DETOX yourself from all TOXIC relationships and go back and rebuild the good ones that you let getaway
FORGIVE yourself for all the mistakes that you made, allow yourself time to heal from your past pain FORGIVE others who may have hurt you, disappointed you or whatever because until you do they'll always have power over you which means that you will not be living your best life,
LOVE, LAUGH and LIVE OUT YOUR PURPOSE !!
Not saying it would be easy but if you need someone to walk you through the process contact me at www.truerevelations.webs.com and climb back out together
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