Blame it on me

So, I really get frustrated when I hear friends and family talk bad about my last boyfriend in fact he was probably one of my only real boyfriends, my first love to be exact. Don’t get it twisted we went through some things but I don’t like when people blame others for my decisions and actions. I can’t lie and say being in that relationship may have persuaded my perception of things but ultimately it was my decision.

This leads me to this general question, “Whose To Blame?????” I always here people and see status updates about how somebody is doing something to someone else, or the world is doing something to you but what I never here is what you are doing to provoke these attacks or a plan to prevent them. We as a people because I use to do it to , are always looking for someone or something thing to blame but we never truly take accountability for our own actions and the state that those actions has left our lives.

If you were to look at any situation in your life and were truly honest with yourself whether the situation is good or bad, the decisions that you made led you there.  Since, we know that I am not afraid to share my life and I started off talking about my ex, let me    give you an example.  A couple of years ago my last boyfriend cheated on me and I found out about it and I forgave him, well he cheated again and then I got really pissed threw my “angry black girl” tantrum and decided to end the relationship. I blamed him and even blamed her only because she knew about me and was perfectly content with what she did. I was angry and I was hurt but I could never truly let go of it because I never held myself accountable for what happened. No, it’s not my fault he cheated that’s something within him but it is my fault that I got hurt because I allowed it once which meant in his mind was acceptable to do it again.

Sometimes, we think we are forgiving and giving out second chances but in truth we are only giving ourselves another opportunity to hurt or fail. Don’t get me wrong I believe people can change but I don’t believe that we can change people. Let me break it down a little further for you,  a person will only change when they are ready, so no matter what you do, how long you stay or how many chances you give until they first recognize that they have a problem and then have a willingness to change you will get hurt.   Then, we can’t change a person or a situation we blame them when truly we are accountable for the decisions we make.

Most time in life, whether it be a person or a situation the TRUE nature of the beast is staring you in the face, you feel it in your gut but we refuse to acknowledge and accept it, SO, we try to fix it which leads us to make the wrong decisions although for what we think is right reasons, then we get frustrated , tired and so far off path  that we fill it’s easier to play the victim then to muster up the strength to turn around and try again. So, I encourage you today, to STOP BLAMING OTHERS, hold yourself ACCOUNTABLE and if you have messy areas in your life CLEAN EM UP before the BURY YOU!!