So, I really get frustrated when I hear friends and family
talk bad about my last boyfriend in fact he was probably one of my only real boyfriends,
my first love to be exact. Don’t get it twisted we went through some things but
I don’t like when people blame others for my decisions and actions. I can’t lie
and say being in that relationship may have persuaded my perception of things
but ultimately it was my decision.
This leads me to this general question, “Whose To Blame?????”
I always here people and see status updates about how somebody is doing
something to someone else, or the world is doing something to you but what I
never here is what you are doing to provoke these attacks or a plan to prevent
them. We as a people because I use to do it to , are always looking for someone
or something thing to blame but we never truly take accountability for our own
actions and the state that those actions has left our lives.
If you were to look at any situation in your life and were
truly honest with yourself whether the situation is good or bad, the decisions that
you made led you there. Since,
we know that I am not afraid to share my life and I started off talking about
my ex, let me give you an
example. A couple of years ago my last boyfriend
cheated on me and I found out about it and I forgave him, well he cheated again
and then I got really pissed threw my “angry black girl” tantrum and decided to
end the relationship. I blamed him and even blamed her only because she knew
about me and was perfectly content with what she did. I was angry and I was
hurt but I could never truly let go of it because I never held myself
accountable for what happened. No, it’s not my fault he cheated that’s
something within him but it is my fault that I got hurt because I allowed it
once which meant in his mind was acceptable to do it again.
Sometimes, we think we are forgiving and giving out second
chances but in truth we are only giving ourselves another opportunity to hurt
or fail. Don’t get me wrong I believe people can change but I don’t believe that
we can change people. Let me break it down a little further for you, a person will only change when they are ready,
so no matter what you do, how long you stay or how many chances you give until
they first recognize that they have a problem and then have a willingness to
change you will get hurt. Then, we can’t
change a person or a situation we blame them when truly we are accountable for
the decisions we make.
Most time in life, whether it be a person or a situation the
TRUE nature of the beast is staring you in the face, you feel it in your gut
but we refuse to acknowledge and accept it, SO, we try to fix it which leads us
to make the wrong decisions although for what we think is right reasons, then
we get frustrated , tired and so far off path that we fill it’s easier to play the victim then
to muster up the strength to turn around and try again. So, I encourage you
today, to STOP BLAMING OTHERS, hold yourself ACCOUNTABLE and if you have messy
areas in your life CLEAN EM UP before the BURY YOU!!
Comments
Post a Comment