It is crazy because when I sit down to write tonight this was suppose to be going into my new book , but I decided to share it with all you because ," Why Not", I share everything with you all anyway.
For the last two days I have been a state of semi solitude, I have been feeling under the weather, overwhelmed and exhausted but this week I think my body gave in because it knew that my mind truly needed the break. So, I took two days to rejuvenate my mind and communicate with my higher being, God speaks to me but only when I am fully surrendered in prayer and silence. So, for two days we have been having an ongoing debate , yeah I said I was debating with God, I mean he created me he knows first hand how stubborn I am but only until about a couple of hours I go after talking to my pops, my moment of clarity came.
I have never been afraid of the challenge, of the trying my hand at the impossible, my resume is flooded with accomplishments but my worst fear is not failure but success. My entire life I have always played the back, I make other people look good, I stand out only long enough to feel the sun but never long enough to get burned. But these last couple of months , my hard work has been paying off, I can see my future flourishing and unfolding in all of its splendor and I became afraid. But I wasn't afraid of failing , I have failed so many times before but I am afraid of fully answering my calling because once I walk through that door and walk through it, I can not walk back, That scares me , I mean it scared me bur no longer
My daddy told me tonight, " Keep shooting for the stars because even if you land on the moon, you will have gone further then most", then as I sit in my living room in silence God whispered to me, " I waded into the darkness for you, I brought you thus far,,i am not going to leave you,,not Ever"
I have seen bad days and been even worse places mentally,emotionally and spiritually but through it all I always knew better days where ahead of me, that my time was coming, and although I am not 100 percent ready, I am 100 percent FAITHFUL.
For the last two days I have been a state of semi solitude, I have been feeling under the weather, overwhelmed and exhausted but this week I think my body gave in because it knew that my mind truly needed the break. So, I took two days to rejuvenate my mind and communicate with my higher being, God speaks to me but only when I am fully surrendered in prayer and silence. So, for two days we have been having an ongoing debate , yeah I said I was debating with God, I mean he created me he knows first hand how stubborn I am but only until about a couple of hours I go after talking to my pops, my moment of clarity came.
I have never been afraid of the challenge, of the trying my hand at the impossible, my resume is flooded with accomplishments but my worst fear is not failure but success. My entire life I have always played the back, I make other people look good, I stand out only long enough to feel the sun but never long enough to get burned. But these last couple of months , my hard work has been paying off, I can see my future flourishing and unfolding in all of its splendor and I became afraid. But I wasn't afraid of failing , I have failed so many times before but I am afraid of fully answering my calling because once I walk through that door and walk through it, I can not walk back, That scares me , I mean it scared me bur no longer
My daddy told me tonight, " Keep shooting for the stars because even if you land on the moon, you will have gone further then most", then as I sit in my living room in silence God whispered to me, " I waded into the darkness for you, I brought you thus far,,i am not going to leave you,,not Ever"
I have seen bad days and been even worse places mentally,emotionally and spiritually but through it all I always knew better days where ahead of me, that my time was coming, and although I am not 100 percent ready, I am 100 percent FAITHFUL.
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