YOU WONT FIGHT ABOUT IT OR WILL YOU ??

I have been going through a very private yet emotional conflict over the last 6 to 7 months and it has cause me a lot of stress and worry. My life was spiraling and although I was not doing anything crazy I was losing pieces of myself which is not cool. So, last week I sat down with my journal and my pen as often do I started to create a list of things I had not yet to accomplish in my life, goals I have given up on, things I have taken for granted and things I still want to do . AS I wrote and just let my emotions pour on the page on the last line I wrote “I BET YOU WONT FIGHT ABOUT IT”.  

If you know me then you know that is one of my favorite  phrases after I talk shit to someone almost like I taunt to get a reaction out of person but as I look at my journal I had to think , who was I taunting at this moment, who was I trying to get a reaction out of?  Then it clicked I was taunting myself because I had allowed life and all the drama that comes along with to distract me from my purpose.  I like most people could give a 1000 valid reasons as to why the last 6-7 months I have allowed myself to side tracked and for a while I did. I complained I said: this is too hard”, “I am just going to play it safe”, “and It just not meant to be”. I was lost in the darkness and honestly my eyes had begun to adjust when I smacked into a brick wall of reality and remembered the thing about being in the dark that the darkness has no real answers.

So, three days after that revelation, I went back to my journal and looked at entry and clicked, my “true” self the person I was trying so hard to bury in the darkness was taunting me.  The God in me was speaking to my flesh the best way it knew how. Tugging at  my own ego, asking me all these goals, the accomplishment I already had the ones to come my way. I was without owning asking myself “are you willing to fight to live and stop just being alive.  There is a difference between living and just being alive . Which state are you in?

If I am being honest with you and myself, then I would say I was living and I was loving and then things got a little to real and instead of embracing the challenges , I ran into the darkness. There comes a time in everyone’s life when you get physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tired of being hit in the face by the punches of life. If you are there in life then I have just one thing to say to you GET UP AND FIGHT!! I know that  at times we feel like everything in our lives are just crumbling  all round us , whether it be our relationship is failing, a job that drains our soul, not having enough money to cover your needs , health or whatever the case it maybe there comes a time in all our lives where we have to fight?

SO ASK YOU ONE LAST TIME ALTHOUGH YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE AND YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BEING BEAT UP BY LIFE... ARE YOU GOING TO STAY AND SUBCOMB TO DEFEAT OR ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT ABOUT IT??