Falling in Love with Me

You know there is a difference between, “Loving someone and being in love with someone”. Growing up, I believed that this concept was only applied to relationships of the romantic variety but I was sadly mistaking.  If, you follow me then you know that I have been through a lot but 2016 was a turning year and I lost a lot but I found someone who had been missing for awhile and that was me. So, I have spent the last year and a half falling in love with myself and my perfect flaws. 

It is so crazy when I think back because I not it has me questioning every time I said “I love you” to someone how much truth was behind it. I mean really can you love someone, I mean truly love someone if you are not truly in love with yourself. Don’t get me wrong I love me, I think I am very special person but I was not in love with myself which basically led me to become a slave to the preconceived notions of who people think I should be instead of living my own truth.

Recently, I had a conversation with my significant other (I think lol) and we have been together and known each other for over 19 years but in mid-2017 I had a conversation about the past few years we had been coexisting mainly because we met when we were kids dealing with our own issues and we became safe havens for each other but we never truly dealt with the issues.  Simply put I fell in love with him before I even truly knew how to love myself.

So, fast forward and now we are at the 2018 and I am totally head over heals in love with myself and let me share a few lessons I learned along the way …

·         You do not owe anyone anything except to be best version of yourself

o   At times we feel like we are obligated to there and deal with the extra baggage that people hand us because they may have helped you out or was there for you in some way but if what they did was not done from the heart then let them charge it to the game because you do not owe anyone your peace of mind

·         It is okay to go against the grain

o   Just because no one you know has done it does not mean that you shouldn’t. The sun does not stop shining because people complain about the heat or the brightness and neither should you.

·         It is okay to restart

o   I have done this recently because sometime we slip back into our comfort zone because its familiar but once you realize that the familiar can also stop your progression you may need to restart.

·         Trim Your Own Family/Friend Tree

o   “I trim my own family tree”, I heard my uncle say this when I was like thirteen year and it became my mantra but, on my journey, to fall in love with myself it became more prominent in my life. It is perfectly ok to cut off dead branches because if you keep them, they will destroy your tree of life. So, I have truly learned how to love from a distance,

·         Fix your face

o   If you do not like what you see when you look in the mirror, fix it. I am not in know promoting plastic surgery but if putting on makeup, a new wig, fixing your teeth and loosing or gaining weight will make you feel good, then go for it. 2019 is definitely my year of transformation.

·         UNMASK

o   You can fall in love with someone you don’t know so take some alone time to get to know who you are and what bring you true joy and peace.

This is a process which mean that it is not seamless and at times you will find it easier to just conform to societal norms and perception but trust me when you fall in love with yourself things like worry and fear disappear.

Coach Destiny