Never Will Say Goodbye

18 years ago today I lost the woman who gave me life ,the person I ever loved. Rest Easy Ma

After eighteen years, I thought it would be easier, the pain would be a little easier to bare, but eighteen years later I still find myself peeking through the blinds at five hoping your car is out there, some days the pain is so much that it knocks me off my feet, other days I find myself reminiscing on the memories of you until I lull myself to sleep,

Every year on this day I find myself stuck in time, replaying those days event trying to figure out how to get to you in time, it took me a long-time deal with my grief and to stop being angry with the man above because although your body was dead and gone I will still surrounded by your love.

 

I look at my siblings and see you, find ourselves saying some of the crazy shit you use to say, our mouths are so much like yours, we go from zero to one hundred quick, crazy work ethic, and unapologetic swag yeah everyone knows we are Iris’s kids. We all miss you in our own way and we deal with your death in our way but I am choosing now to just say some of things I never get a chance to say,

Ma, you were always a queen to me so majestic, so in tune everywhere you went you walked in like you owned the room, your personality was magnetic you attracted all kind of folks but your best times where with your family in the living room eating and cracking jokes. You were the definition of elegance whether dressed up or dressed down in a sweat in and Tee. No words could every express how much you mean to me.  I want to say it get easier with time that would just be a lie, I may learn to get along with you but never will ever say goodbye.