Hey little one
I guess this has been a long time coming but I have come to realize
that I am not able to move on in my life unless I and you come to peace. I
truly wish there was something that I could do or say to erase what happened to
you but I can’t but I think it is time for us to move past the hurt and the
only way that I can do that is for you to forgive me. I guess I need for you to let go and more
importantly I need for you to forgive me so that we can walk into our
purpose. Those things that happened to
you without your consent or your control were not your fault, stop blaming
yourself. Mom loved you and although you may not remember her saying the words
look at her actions, how she took care of you, cared for you, watched over you
when you were in the hospital, worked two jobs just to make sure you and your
siblings had the things you wanted. You
are like her, stubborn and have a hard time expressing your feelings in words
but deep down you know that she loved you, hold on to that and let go of the
anger ,guilt and hurt. I wish that some of the hurtful words that were said
about you actually came from people who didn’t know instead of those who were supposed
to love you know matter what but let me tell you something, you are beautiful
and smart which made you a target because those people saw it in and wanted to extinguish
that light before you saw it in yourself.
Jealousy makes people do crazy things but know that when you look in the
mirror everything you are is enough. I know you spent a lot of time and energy believing
the nonsense that was said but dig deep real deep and ask yourself, have you
really had more insults then compliments. Forgive those people because that is
the only way that we will be able to reconnect with ourselves and truly love
who we see when we look in the mirror.
We endured a lot and we made it through but in order for us
to truly go forward then we have to let go of the past hurt, anger and pain and
embrace the fact that we are indeed different but different does not mean bad
it just means that we are unique creatures selected by God to be used for his
divine purpose. I know that getting to where are destined to be will be a
journey in itself but one will never be able to take unless you let go. We are
strong and we have an awesome support system all we need to do is release it to
God and leave it and follow our purpose.
Love Me
30 year old you
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