Decision Time

I believe in being completely honest with myself, my family and my audience. This is an entry that I tweeked from my own online journal and it is also a section in book I am writing called  " Whispers in the dark " which chronicles my journey from a broken depressed young girl to a happy life loving young woman that I am today but I still have bad days. 

There comes a time in everyone life where they will have to make a decision. Well, about a month ago I had my gallbladder removed and the surgery had some complications when it came to the breathing tube due some scar tissue from a previous surgery. 

It took a while to admit this but that scared me because that surgery prior took my voice, I walked around for a year with a tube in my throat and for a girl that was already in secure that pushed me over the edge and retreated into the darkness and although I didn’t know it then I can see it now. 

So, since the surgery I have been spiraling, it is like there is one storm after another and although I have had some sun filled days they do not last long. So, I finally got my pride out of the way and called my therapist and told her everything that has been going on with me and her reply was ” It;s decision time”. She have had some great progress and I am coming out of the darkness but it is time for me to decide whether I am going to ” Live or just be alive” , there is a difference believe it or not.”  So, I have been literally been  fighting this battle all day but I choose to LIVE because I have been alive for the last 27 years and though I had some great days and accomplishments, in my heart I know that I deserve more and the only way for me to get it, it to LIVE.

I also know that I am not the only one that maybe in decision time and I wish that I could give some great inspirational words to help sway you but all I can tell if life is a precious gift but you will never know the wonders that it can bestow upon you until you take it out of the box.