Well if you know me then you that music is a major influence on my life and it often inspires me to help empower you. Now, my girl Kelly Rowland came out with this song " Dirty Laundry" and regardless of how you feel about the words are powerful and it led me to the topic of domestic violence.
So.let's do this dirty laundry . I like most girls gag at the thought of being in an abusive relationship, we say things like " I wish he would put his hands on me" but truth is no matter how strong you may think you are, your true strength will never be tested until you are the one in the ring. One out of three women will be involved in an abusive relationship in there lifetime and sad thing is that most want know it because he will never leave a physical mark but emotionally you will be battered.
Strength has no bearings when it comes to abuse, there are several reasons why women succumb to abuse; low self-esteem, an abusive upbringing, or a million others reasons but the problem is not how you got into it , it is how you got out of it and the effect it has on your life.
So, let me air out my laundry, when my mother was younger before she met my father, she was in an physically abusive relationship which I found out after her passing but it was really hard for me to hear because she was my super hero, the strongest woman I knew and that remains true because she got out of that relationship but she never got help which now when I look back she really needed. This post is not going to dwell on why people become abusers but how and why the abused can get there power back.
1. You have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired: My grandma taught me that, no one no matter how bad the situation is, is going to get help until they finally had enough.
2. Don't be ashamed : we are all human once you decide you had enough and you want some help then go and get it. I think my mom let her pride get in the way of her getting the help she needed
3. Talk it out with a friend: We all should have at least one real friend we can call during a crisis, set date and unload, cry course, shot do what you need to but get it out. If by chance you don't have a friend, ill be your shoulder.
4. Be Hurt: I know its hard to do but don't bury it, be hurt, be vulnerable cry, eat insane amounts of ice cream but don't hold it in
5. Slow and Steady: After the hurt comes the healing but this process is not a sprint its more of an marathon, give yourself the appropriate time.
6. Don't carry it with you: Do not become the bag lady, do not carry what happen with you to another relationship because that is not fair to you or the person you are with. Keep your eyes open and watch for signs but don't go in thinking he's guilty.
I have had the opportunity to speak to and even coach some young women who have been in abusive relationships and I had a friend who was in an abusive relationship. You can recover and your are not alone.
If you or you know someone who maybe in an abusive relationship.
Contact me : truerevelationscoaching@outlook.com
So.let's do this dirty laundry . I like most girls gag at the thought of being in an abusive relationship, we say things like " I wish he would put his hands on me" but truth is no matter how strong you may think you are, your true strength will never be tested until you are the one in the ring. One out of three women will be involved in an abusive relationship in there lifetime and sad thing is that most want know it because he will never leave a physical mark but emotionally you will be battered.
Strength has no bearings when it comes to abuse, there are several reasons why women succumb to abuse; low self-esteem, an abusive upbringing, or a million others reasons but the problem is not how you got into it , it is how you got out of it and the effect it has on your life.
So, let me air out my laundry, when my mother was younger before she met my father, she was in an physically abusive relationship which I found out after her passing but it was really hard for me to hear because she was my super hero, the strongest woman I knew and that remains true because she got out of that relationship but she never got help which now when I look back she really needed. This post is not going to dwell on why people become abusers but how and why the abused can get there power back.
1. You have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired: My grandma taught me that, no one no matter how bad the situation is, is going to get help until they finally had enough.
2. Don't be ashamed : we are all human once you decide you had enough and you want some help then go and get it. I think my mom let her pride get in the way of her getting the help she needed
3. Talk it out with a friend: We all should have at least one real friend we can call during a crisis, set date and unload, cry course, shot do what you need to but get it out. If by chance you don't have a friend, ill be your shoulder.
4. Be Hurt: I know its hard to do but don't bury it, be hurt, be vulnerable cry, eat insane amounts of ice cream but don't hold it in
5. Slow and Steady: After the hurt comes the healing but this process is not a sprint its more of an marathon, give yourself the appropriate time.
6. Don't carry it with you: Do not become the bag lady, do not carry what happen with you to another relationship because that is not fair to you or the person you are with. Keep your eyes open and watch for signs but don't go in thinking he's guilty.
I have had the opportunity to speak to and even coach some young women who have been in abusive relationships and I had a friend who was in an abusive relationship. You can recover and your are not alone.
If you or you know someone who maybe in an abusive relationship.
Contact me : truerevelationscoaching@outlook.com
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