Life Lessons With Coach Destiny

When I sit down and reflect on this past year all I can say is , "Thank You Lord"  This year has truly been my purge and grow season. I have hurt, learned some new things, hurt, grew up a little more, and hurt some more but in the end when I take a honest look back ... TRUTH is ... it's exactly what I needed. Truth is there where times during this past year where I stood on the verge of loosing it all , my house, my car, my job, my mind. Truth is there were several times this year that I felt like giving up, when everything I touched even thought about turned to crap and even it those few  moments when I felt myself getting back on only to be sucker punched by another disappointment. Truth is this year I have experienced so much heart ache and pain and for the first time I didn't run it or try to bury it. Instead I confronted it, I e,braced it by allowing myself to hurt , then heal so that I can move on. Truth is this year that is soon to past brought me face ...

As the year winds down and new one is on the horizon and I look at some of these females and all I can do is SMH!!. I am like seriously a woman is where life begin, hands down the strongest creatures on earth. So, when did we become some insecure, so needy, so self destructive. I have a couple of issues that I have address and then I am going to let it go but it just bothers me when I see beautiful women willingly belittle themselves for the love or just plain interest of a man. First thing ladies if a man leaves you, then MOVE ON but what you don't do is get mad at his new girl and try to  berate her  because you may be mad or hurt but HE hurt not HER. Second thing, STOP acting as if you can't be HAPPY unless you are with a MAN because if that is the case then you are sentencing yourself to a life time of misery. As a woman you should be able to maintain your own happiness by living out your dreams and ambitions. Last thing, and then I am done STOP using you...

I hear a lot of young women crying about not being able to find a good man and I have to ask what is your defintion of a good man because most of the time you may have three or four good men pass you by because you were treating them like the last dude that did you wrong or you were trying to compare him to another man. Ladies, I need for us all to understand just because you see your friends in a relationship and you like "She got a good man, I need one like that" REMEMBER, that man is GOOD but HE was made for HER not for YOU. We get so caught up in trying to find what we think a good man should be that forget to open our eyes to the ones that maybe with a little of your TLC may be the "good man" that you need in your life. Now for my ladies that have a good man, your job is never done and don't think that just because yall together that you don't have to watch your back because there is always at least one  chic looking to take your spot. So...

Earlier today me and my boyfriend were talking about something and he said "Why Me" and my reply was "Why Not You" and of course he thought I was being sarcastic but I wasn't. My father the great man he is when ever I feel like I am in a downward spiral, he say " what does not kill you makes you stronger", so trust when I say that I have been through so much I am contending to be the world's strongest woman. But all that leads me to this why do we and majority of us do this when something is going wrong as "WHY ME" and response to that is "WHY NOT YOU", what makes you so special from the rest of us that you can't withstand a little heartache, set back, and devastation. What is it in you that makes you feel that you are above adversity? Better question why are not yelling "WHY ME" when everything is going good is it because when it's good you know why it's good but when it's sours you su...

Often when things go wrong, I find myself asking myself "Is it me", I use to honestly feel like if a person didn't like me, if someone hurt my feelings, and even if  something happened in a relationship that it must have been something that I had done wrong. You see I know me and I am very passionate person and any and all my realtionship when I love I love HARD and it's not nothing I wouldn't do for you. I recently learned the hard way that you can do everything right and you can still get hurt. You see I was in a relationship for half of my life and truth be told at one time we were really in love but somewhere between there and here, our goals changed. I know what I want and he doesn't have a clue, I work hard and he is looking for easy street. Never the less, the relationship ended and I was hurt eventhough I knew it was the right thing for all involved it did leave me feeling " Is it me" what did I not do to make this work. You see...

I think there is no more appropriate moment then the present to talk about this issue, AS we embark on relationships we all know that it;s the initial "look" of person that attracts you. Whether you like em', tall small, thick, or old. It's the physical attraction that first lures us to another person.  If you don;t agree with that then this post is not for you because obviously you are better then the majority of the world. So, ask you what would you prefer a TRICK OR a TREAT ?  I know you are probably wondering, how am I able to tell the difference if all I have is first impressions. I am glad that you asked , you see a Trick is someone who plays only on your senses, they look good, smell nice and always make sure that they are seen. A TREAT on the other hand also smells nice, looks good but this person does not have to be seen you are pulled to them.  To break it down a little bit more, a TRICK will find you but a TREAT you will have...

So, if you don't know anything about me know that I truly dislike people who knowingly  enter a relationship with someone knowing that person is already in a relationship or worse married. I don't understand the purpose of cheating any way because all it does is make an already bad situation worse.  The one thing that I can't stand about it  especially with females is that when you enter a relationship with a married man or a man that's already in a relationship and you think that you are going to be the EXCEPTION. Do you honestly believe that he will not do the same thing to you? Trust, boo boo the cookie is not that good. Truth is  when a person cheats it's never really about the person that they are with, it's something in that person that they need to address and no matter how much love, attention, or sex you give him it will never be enough.  So, why do some of believe that we can come in and be the difference in his life that once he...

I was going through some things and I ran across this piece of paper with a list of hindrances with these biblical verses tied to them which lead me to understand that I got these from sermon while in church and that GOD needed to revisit this list. So, I want to share them with you. 1. Pride: "I don't need to change" (Prov. 16:19) Most people feel that they do not need to change, they tend to blame the people or situation instead of looking into them selves to see that it's something inside of them that needs to be changed. 2. Fear: "I am afraid to take the risk" (1 John 4:17) Fear is something that everyone experiences yet everyone is afraid to admit but truth is that it does exist. But TRUST which is FAITH in ACTION can immobilize fear and allow you the opportunity to live out the purpose GOD placed on your life. 3. Rebellion: "I don't want to change" (1 Sam. 15: 22&24) When I was younger my grandmother told me tha...

There are only two true emotions that is LOVE and FEAR. Anger is manifestation of Fear. I have compile for you a short list of ways to help you avoid getting ANGRY ... 1. " Call it what it is?" - If you feel your rage rising inside of you, if something or someone strikes the wrong nerve, then "SAY IT", if you are angry then say you are angry. 2. "Don't wait INHALE" -  When you begin to feel irritated then take a deep in, allow your frustrations, worries, and anger to be released during the exhale. 3 ."Note To Self" - - Today is a great day, I am loves and all is GREAT in my world",  this phrased is etched in my mirror and into my brain. Anytime you begin to feel angry take your mind to be a better place., remember a funny moment or a great memory. 4. "Smile" - Replacing the fear with love will instantly put you back in good spirits. Smiles normally do it for me especially when they come from my niece, but when eve...

Sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm not getting any younger waiting for life to happen to me instead of getting up and living it. GOD, I cry out, why am I so fearful when I know that you will always take care of me. So, here I am asking you to take away all the past pain, the present hurt, and all the fear. I don't want to suffer anymore; I am tired of the struggle I just want to live a full life of joy and prosperity. At time, GOD I feel like at any given moment that I will just tumble over and die. When did I become this weak? When I was younger I really dreamed the impossible dreams but then I actually went out and lived them. I have accomplished a lot but somewhere between growing up, the need for money, sex, education, personal relationships, life's drama and DEATH. I became afraid to live. I still dream but they're empty. A dream without drive is like life with no purpose, it just leaves you lost. Or in my case it leads you to create an alternate re...

I have one question : " What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you recognize the person that's looking back at you or are you looking at stranger. I truly wonder how many people will answer this question honestly and you don't have post it because one thing none of can escape and that's the truth that we have in ourselves. So, I will answer first until about three weeks ago I saw everything in the mirror but me. I saw pain, confusion, hurt, family, love, hate, anger, stress, and even death but I could not see me. You see the hardest thing for most people to admit is that we are not strong all the times and that we as human beings a flawed and we make mistakes.  So, I saw all my mishaps, successes and failures in the mirror but I couldn't see me. Why, you ask because for brief moment in my life I started to forget who I was and more importantly WHO'S I was. You see life can sometimes beat you down so low to the point that you can't ...

Who are you? I know that some people will think that this is a really unintelligent question to ask but I ask you " Who are you?". A huge part of what I do comes from my ability to read a person. My reading from a lot of people in this day and time and when I say that I do include myself and my peers is that we have no idea who we are. Honestly, if you had to describe who you are in one world could you do it and if you could is you’re being honest? The truth is that a lot of people including myself have to take a while before you can truly define who you are as an individual. For most people it's easy to mimic what you see on TV, Music Videos or even what you see on the streets within your community. You emulate other people and the materialist possessions they might have or the opportunities that they might have been given. You say things like “If that was me, I would be alright", But it's not you and until you come to grips with who you are, all you ever ...

I have been dealing with so much  lately as I get closer and closer to my dreams, I realize that something was blocking my progress. It took me a while to realize then I realized it was the pain of the past that I had been holding to so long. A lot of hold on the past pain and it just ends up hindering your future. So, I challenged myself to regain control of my life by confronting the pain and then releasing it. As, a writer I found it easier to write a "Dear John" letter to my pain, Dear Past pain: You have been holding on to me for too long, I have given you too much power in my life. You have tried to destroy me and now I am here to tell you that I release you. I am no longer afraid, angry, guilty or bitter. I  forgive you and the people that you brought into my life both family and friend who  triggered the pain in order to control me. Telling me that I wasn’t pretty enough, that I wasn’t small enough, that I wasn’t smart enough, creative enough, ...

  This past Thursday, December 1 st 2011 was once again National AIDS Day, so I raise the question , “Did you get tested?” As an   avid activist on the importance of getting tested and   knowing your status , it could save your life and also the   life as others. HIV/AIDS is the   taking millions of lives   and will continue to take more if we do not own up to the   fact that looking past the issue doesn’t eliminate the problem. When I decided that I wanted to pursue work within the non profit   field,   HIV/AIDS   was my   way in beginning as a peer educator, moving up to health educator and all the way up to Health outreach worker. I have facilitated over   400 HIV/AIDS   education presentations   for   youth and young adults throughout the City of Richmond and surrounding counties, the one common thing that I found out was the cause of them not getting tested “IGNORANCE”. So, many of us are concer...

As, 2011 slowly disappears and I progressively work my way into 2012, all I can say is "THANK YOU GOD" because I know personally for myself if it was not for him , then I would have not made it this far. 2011 for me was my "Purge and Grow" season because during this year I had to learn to let go some things and some people and although painful it ultimately help me grow into the person that GOD created. After my painful seven months of purging and yes I said painful, I can only speak for myself but I am hard headed so GOD had to take off the kid gloves and I felt it all. But he never took his hands off me, he surrounded me with Faithful people who encouraged me and pushed me through even at times when I  wanted to give up on myself.  We all have to go through a purging season and unfortunately you may have go through more than one but when you go through understand that you are not alone. Understand that God never puts more om us than we can bare and ...

This note right here has taken my twenty five years to write, so as you read I ask that you pay attention because this is some of the rawest honesty I have ever put to words. So here we go … When people here the phrase " Letting Go " there are two things that instantly come to mind. The first thing is loosing something  or someone and the second thing lost of control. Inevitably both of these are correct because to let go of something  or someone it has to be no longer in your control and you indeed have to in a sense "loose" it. Most people myself included don't truly know what letting go  is, what we tend to do is "bury" it. You most of never true allow ourselves to "let go", whether it be an issue, an ex lover, or even a loved one that has passed away instead we bury it. I know somebody reading this is asking what's the difference so let me break it down for you. When you bury something it's like an empty glass on ...

I have been following Oprah's Life class but the one class that has been the most profound for me has to be the " Letting Go of Anger".  So, growing up and even occasionally now I noticed myself getting "angry" and a part of me really wanted to know where does the "anger" comes from. I have the answer, FEAR. Anger is a  just a manifestation of FEAR,  in order to deal with the anger you first have to deal with the FEAR which stems from some type of PAIN. I will use myself as an example I have a fear of loosing some one's love which stems from the death of my mother and dynamics of my relationship. So, since I have never truly dealt with the pain of her death until recently it manifested into ANGER. Anytime someone would reject my love or ;eave out of my life it made me angry.  Most of us have been angry for so long but not really knowing what the anger is all about. Iyanlya Vanzant, states that there are  Four Primal fears that we as people have...

For as long as I could remember I have only had two objectives in life. First is to follow my calling which is to help all people become better through the power of words and my second objective is to GREAT at doing what I have been called to do .Growing up for me w as mixed with tribulations and triumphs, I lost my mother when I was thirteen, won a couple of prestigious titles, had the pleasuring of meeting a diverse amount of people but all in all it has lead me to where I am today.  I bet you want to know where exactly that is.  Here I am sitting outside my town house on the trunk of my car. It is six o’clock in the morning and I am watching the sun pierce the sky all the while I have a million and one thoughts flooding my mind. Will they understand my perspective? Would they appreciate my strait forward approach? But the questions, that really had my heart pounding like the 808’s from my favorite songs, blanketed my soul like the first snow of the winter season. Can I ...

I truly find inspiration in all most anything and anywhere. For last couple of weeks I have been having “How to Love” by Lil Wayne on constant rotation. I mean normally I believe that at times his lyrics are not cohesive enough for me this song has a very powerful underlying message. When listening to this song for the third time in a row, I got it there a lot of people who are looking for love especially women but honestly don’t know how to love. For whatever the reason might be countless heartbreaks   or tumultuous upbringing a lot of people out here are desperately seeking LOVE   but truth be told a lot of them don’t even know what love is. -           What exactly are looking for? -           How does it feel? -           Can you see it? -           Will you be able to touch it or ...